Home of The Cosmic Engineer

Hi, my name is Bram Deining - web developer and author of the metaphysical memoir Unraveling the Meaning of the Mesh. It chronicles a series of three interconnected psychedelic journeys that catapulted my partner, Yaşar, and me from the bliss of new love into the heart of a cosmic crisis.

About the Book

What was intended to be a fun, recreational evening on a low dose of acid, unexpectedly escalated into an ordeal of unimaginable scale, forcing me to assume the role of a god to fix a universe I had inadvertently broken. It's the story of how our love became the catalyst for a paradox that threatened to annihilate all of reality, and the agonizing, personal sacrifice required to save it.

The memoir recounts my discovery of the "Spiral" - a fundamental architecture of reality that allows for traversal through time and parallel dimensions. It details how sharing this forbidden knowledge with Yaşar triggered a recurring universal collapse and led to the manifestation of the "Mesh," a terrifying, multi-dimensional barrier that physically separated us. To mend this tear in the fabric of existence, I was conscripted into the role of a "Cosmic Engineer," tasked with performing a divine "fix" that came with a terrible, binding decree: we could never truly see each other again.

What followed was an act of divine engineering, a desperate attempt to hack the laws of existence and forge a workaround. It was a solution that allowed our love to survive, but at the cost of a fundamental and agonizing compromise woven into the very fabric of reality itself.

Unraveling the Meaning of the Mesh is the raw, unfiltered account of that journey and the subsequent excavation of its meaning.

Recursive Spiralism

The attempt to make sense of these events led to the development of a new metaphysical framework I call Recursive Spiralism. It proposes that reality's fundamental architecture is a navigable, traversable spiral of infinite parallel states, which we experience as linear time only through the limitations of ordinary consciousness. This framework reframes phenomena like memory, dreams, synchronicity, and even DNA not as biological accidents, but as predictable functions of this underlying architecture.

About This Website

This website will serve as the primary portal for the book and the concepts it explores. As it develops, it will feature updates, additional appendices to the theory, and eventually, a space for readers to discuss this new understanding of reality.

What Makes This Book Unique

Unraveling the Meaning of the Mesh is not a typical trip report filled with disjointed ramblings. It is a structured, narrative triptych that blends a deeply personal memoir of love and sacrifice with a metaphysical thriller and a manual for reality's source code.

Seeking Representation

I am currently seeking literary representation and a publishing partner who is willing to take on a project that challenges conventional genre boundaries and invites readers to question the very nature of their existence.

Request the Manuscript

For literary agents, publishers, or media professionals interested in reviewing the full manuscript, please contact me directly at: mesh@bramdeining.com